December

December 2002 - My first Christmas in a few years spent without my boyfriend. He was going to come back the following year. Sigh. I don't recall much of it

December 2003 - I got engaged! We were in Singapore in December and my fiance bought me a ring (tat I chose). It's a flower shaped ring. I really like it 'cos it's unique and cute and affordable. We made a decision to marry without having a lot of funds. A bit silly rite?

December 2004 - One more month to my wedding. And we still don't have readily available funds. December was a hectic month with choir practice and wedding preparations and long working hours. It wasn't pleasant going through December. God is very gracious because when my wedding come, we weren't in debt but we had $$ leftover for our apartment. Talk about divine providence.

December 2005 - One more month to my 1st wedding anniversary. You know what? I still don't have funds. Late this year, I made a career switch that cost me a stable income and a familiar working environment. As of now, I'm struggling with a profound fear of asking and approaching strangers & acquiantances, especially face to face. It's an irrational fear that was in built in me since young and is a barrier to this new career that I chose. I chose a career that requires me to ask and I've learnt over the past few months that I'll never know unless I ask.

In 2004, as I look towards the new year, my thoughts was filled with my wedding preparations. What has been done and what has to be done. How would it go? Will there be sufficient $$ to pay for the expenses? All my hope was in God for I know that only He has total control.

In 2005, as I look towards the new year, my thoughts are filled with my new career and my new home. Will I be able to make enought $$? How to pay for the ang pows? When will the house be ready? Where should be stay? All my hope is in God for I know no other who can help me.

I understand the truth of it ' though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me, your rod and staff, they comfort me'

I felt that after so many years from being a teenager to college to university to my 1st day at work and there after, I've not entered into a valley. I've not encountered a situation that challenges me so emotionally and mentally and leave me so helpless as I am now - when I know that I have no one to depend on but God.