Lost

The past few days I've been lost.

I don't know what to do and I can't seem to get a grip of anything.

It's a weird feeling.

I feel as though I've lost control.. of everything.

Random Equations

I've decided to blog about stuff rather than work for a change. I've noticed that I've been blogging a lot about work lately..At this point in time, it's the thing that affects me the most.

Anyway, latest hot topic in the news is about the video of the naked women doing squats in prison. Personally, I suspect that Malaysians are more interested to know the identity of the lady and the scandal that surrounds it rather than the rights of detainees and the integrity of the police force.



Next year, I'll be going to Bangkok for holiday..AGAIN. This time it's a romantic getaway. Unlike the last time where I was visiting my then fiance when he was posted there on a project for close to a month. I had to shop alone..but it was great 'cos I got my evening gown for my wedding dinner for RM200. That's a real bargain. The main reason why I dislike shopping alone is because I have a hard time making decisions alone when it comes to whether I should buy or not to buy. Even in purchasing my evening gown, I had problems deciding between a sweet pink or a gold yellow. Finally, for whatever reasons, I decided on gold yellow..which was a good decision as my fiance said he wouldn't have like the pink. *whew*

Anyway, I plan to look for nice cheap suits and erm.. I think I'd better list down a few items that I want to purchase ..oh and skirts and cute little blouses. I want to eat Thai desserts and Dairy Queen ( much cheaper in Bangkok than in M'sia)..and maybe drop by China Town as I've not been there before.

Whee..and I may be going on a company trip to Phuket. Although I'm not really looking forward to that. What is there to do in Phuket besides the beach?

Oh..and if you ever open a business or set up a company, hire the right people with the right attitude. I had breakfast in Jelutong today and the service sucks..The service of 1 person sucked. He brought the wrong order and asked the customer to accept it. When we complained that a fly was cooked along with the maggi mee soup, he said that the fly probably flew in and did not take the initiative to do anything. It's not suprising that we've made the decision to not go back there again. However, the cashier had a bit of initiative to refund $$ for the maggi mee soup when we complained about the fly. *shake head*

There's one thing that people don't teach in school is that PEOPLE are the ones that make the difference. In economy, they talk about theories and principles but they leave out PEOPLE & POLITICS. It's the people & politics that determines whether the country is going to grow economically or remain forever poor. When you study business , they teach about finances and sales and management, but they leave out ATTITUDES, that make or break you.

Aik..I want to end this blog now and focus on.. RESEARCHING Bangkok shopping spots..

December

December 2002 - My first Christmas in a few years spent without my boyfriend. He was going to come back the following year. Sigh. I don't recall much of it

December 2003 - I got engaged! We were in Singapore in December and my fiance bought me a ring (tat I chose). It's a flower shaped ring. I really like it 'cos it's unique and cute and affordable. We made a decision to marry without having a lot of funds. A bit silly rite?

December 2004 - One more month to my wedding. And we still don't have readily available funds. December was a hectic month with choir practice and wedding preparations and long working hours. It wasn't pleasant going through December. God is very gracious because when my wedding come, we weren't in debt but we had $$ leftover for our apartment. Talk about divine providence.

December 2005 - One more month to my 1st wedding anniversary. You know what? I still don't have funds. Late this year, I made a career switch that cost me a stable income and a familiar working environment. As of now, I'm struggling with a profound fear of asking and approaching strangers & acquiantances, especially face to face. It's an irrational fear that was in built in me since young and is a barrier to this new career that I chose. I chose a career that requires me to ask and I've learnt over the past few months that I'll never know unless I ask.

In 2004, as I look towards the new year, my thoughts was filled with my wedding preparations. What has been done and what has to be done. How would it go? Will there be sufficient $$ to pay for the expenses? All my hope was in God for I know that only He has total control.

In 2005, as I look towards the new year, my thoughts are filled with my new career and my new home. Will I be able to make enought $$? How to pay for the ang pows? When will the house be ready? Where should be stay? All my hope is in God for I know no other who can help me.

I understand the truth of it ' though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me, your rod and staff, they comfort me'

I felt that after so many years from being a teenager to college to university to my 1st day at work and there after, I've not entered into a valley. I've not encountered a situation that challenges me so emotionally and mentally and leave me so helpless as I am now - when I know that I have no one to depend on but God.